When We Get Old

Elaine has saved this project, “Effective Body Language” for presentation until we could have our first in-person chapter meeting after the nation has gone into lockdown during the pandemic and all physical meetings were suspended.

In this project, Elaine shared with us her experience in one of her voluntary services to the elderlies and she offered them her “words of wisdom” when the old folks began talking about death. Delivering this project on “Effective Body Language”, Elaine mimicked how the old folks’ behaviour and how they talked.

Speaker: Elaine Tan, ACB, CL, DL5, MS1

Pathway: Motivational Strategy

Level 2, Project 3 

Effective Body Language

Title: When We Get Old

Date: 21 July 2022

I Have Changed

After I recovered from COVID-19, I lost my sense of taste. Food began to taste bland to me and I no longer enjoyed my finger food. Not only that, so has my personality. It has undergone an extremely drastic change. I turned from a very optimistic person into an insufferable pessimist. 

I used to be very caring and very patient towards the seniors. No matter how demanding they are, how unappreciative they are, how unreasonable they are, I would always find many ways to make them happy and smile like joyful youths. However, all these have changed ever since I recovered from COVID-19. 

Don’t ask me why. Even the researchers could not explain the change. For those who used to hang out with the seniors or to those, who happened to be seniors here … well, I have doubt about the latter.

You all look pretty young. You know, one thing about old people, their all-time favourite topic of the day, of the week, of the month, even of the year, is death. 

We Are Going To Die!

If you have one or two seniors who gather to share their intensity of their fear of death, the situation can still be manageable. However, when you have three or even more seniors gather to talk about death, it will totally out of control. This was what happened last week when my friend and I went on a voluntary service. 

We were tasked to entertain a group of seniors who were living in isolation during the pandemic. That was the first time that they could come out to interact with us and other seniors. It began with one, just one senior to start a conversation about death. 

Uncle John was a very fat man. He started the conversation by saying, “I am turning 80 soon and this means that I am going to die.” 

Shortly after Uncle John talked about death, a very thin Auntie Mary, who was a very sweet lady joined in and said, “Ah! Yes! I have already retired and the money I have saved up is not enough for my retirement. It’s better off that I should die immediately.”

Eventually, the third uncle, Uncle Peter, who always talk with his mouth twitching like that (Elaine imitated the old man twitching his mouth while talking) began to speak.

“Yah! One day you will find me dead all alone in my home.”

What About My Generation When We Grow Old?

As you know, I used to be a very caring and patient person. However, now I have changed. In the past, I would certainly comfort them, channel my positive energy to them, making sure that after I have left them, they will find that the world is a beautiful place and the future is filled with hope.

Instead, I remained very quiet until my friend looked at me and asked me. 

“What’s wrong?” 

I replied, “I feel very sad.”

Everybody looked at me and I continued saying, “I really feel very sad for ourselves.” 

I told my friend, who was as young … or should I say, as old as myself. She looked at me with surprise and asked, “What?” 

I looked at Uncle John and said to him, “Uncle John. Recently, I read the newspaper and it said that the life expectancy of human beings has increased. So, for people of my generation, at the age of 100, we will be asking ourselves a different question. ‘why am I still alive at the age of 100?’” 

I turned and looked at Auntie Mary. I said, “Auntie Mary, do you know by the time we reach your age, we will also ask a very different question and it’s an even more depressing question. That question is, ‘why can’t I even retire when I have already reached the age of 80?’ “ 

Finally, I turned to Uncle Peter and said, “Uncle Peter, your question really struck my heart. I am very scared. Why? Because until now, many of my friends still cannot afford to buy a house. We wonder that when we die, who would even have a house of their own to die in.” 

Words Of “Comfort”

In great silence, all the seniors looked at me and think. They continued to think, and they think … I thought that they would be mad, they would be angry, or they would get even grumpier. On the contrary, they seemed fine. It looked like they felt better the moment they learned that I would be in a worse situation than they were in. 

Uncle John suddenly became the person who comforted me. He said, “Elaine, don’t worry. You know where we will be by the time you get old. By then if you feel that things are so bad for you, you can decide to join us earlier.”

I was not sure if I was comforted by what Uncle John said, but what I am telling you is quite true. Don’t you all agree? 

Actually, my friend was the one who was affected the most by I shared.

She asked me, “Elaine, why are saying all these?”.

I said, “Well! Isn’t this factual? Don’t you think that in the future, our generation or the generation-to-be will be living a very different life.” 

Final Thoughts

My grandma used to show me her black and white photographs and said, “Hey! Look at this photo. This was my wedding day, and this is a photo of me and your grandpa starting out our own business.” Whereas my mother would show me a colour photo of her wearing an office dress, going to her workplace or a photo of the first time that my father and her dating each other.

On the contrary, what kind of photographs do I find youngsters post on the social media nowadays? A photo of a pancake. I do not know what kind of legacy we are leaving behind. So, all in all, when we grow old, just remember: “Live each day to the fullest and be happy.”