Connect With Storytelling

Objectives Of The “Connect With Storytelling” Project

 The purpose of this project is for the member to practice using a story within a speech or giving a speech that is a story.  Pathway Level 3 projects consist of one compulsory project and two elective projects. “Connecting With Storytelling” is one out of two elective projects selectable from a list of 15 elective projects in Level 3 Engaging Humour Pathway.

Connecting With Storytelling – Daniel Sun’s Pathway Project

Speaker: Daniel Sun, CC, EH2

Pathway: Engaging Humour

Level 3, Project 2: Connecting With Storytelling

Title: Parable Of The Ex-Girlfriend

Date: 20 June 2024

This project was delivered at The Open Alumni Toastmasters Club.

Inspiration Behind This Project

I wrote this story in my emails more than two decades ago to a few people who were in the same organisation we were in. We, especially me, felt betrayed and turned back on by the organisation after we have devoted, supported and sacrificed for the organisation for many years.

As I was relating this feeling of betrayal to others, I wrote a parable, “The Parable Of The Ex-Girlfriend”, the story told in this project. The recipients of my story knew exactly what I meant as we all went through the same experience of betrayal. There was no need for me to explain nor elaborate the story to them. It was well understood and there was an empathy.

In this project, I made a change from my usual jovial and sarcastic style to one that was slow-paced, serious and solemn. A remark was made that I was undertaking the “Engaging Humour” pathway but the speech was only humorous in the first two minutes. I beg to differ here. Not every project in the “Engaging Humour” pathway has to be humorous. “Engaging Humour” or any other pathways merely require toastmasters undertaking the respective pathway to take up certain compulsory projects. Toastmasters taking the “Engaging Humour” pathway are required to take up the following compulsory projects:

• Know Your Sense of Humour (Level 2),
• Engage Your Audience With Humour (Level 3),
• The Power Of Humour In An Impromptu Speech (Level 4)

Speech Introduction

The only constant in life is CHANGE!

What does that have to do with today’s story? Be patient.

Club President, distinguished toastmasters, fellow toastmasters, ladies and gentlemen.

Today I am telling a story, the “Parable of the Ex-Girlfriend”.

About Plain Jane

Jane was an ordinary girl, a simple girl, as plain as can be – plane Jane.

Jane was very down to earth. She did not waste her time fantasising. She did not set her eyes on tall hunky guys but worked diligently during her schooldays. Upon graduation, she held an ordinary appointment in a company like any graduate does. Not being ambitious, not involved with office politics, Jane got by as a self-reliant, dependable, middle-class, white-collar office employee.

About Average Joe

At Jane’s office was an average guy, named Joe, an average Joe. Joe handled menial office tasks and ran errands for everyone in the office. Being low in status, Joe was treated disrespectfully by many. That arrested Jane’s attention towards Joe. She could not agree with her colleague’s attitude and mannerism towards Joe. Gradually, Jane began to notice that Joe would only have simple bread and buns in the office during lunchtime. Joe also took the opportunity to study during lunchtime.

Encounter Between Jane And Joe

Curious, Jane began striking up conversations with Joe. She asked Joe why did he not go out for lunch and what was he studying. Jane learned that Joe was in fact from a top school, but owing to financial hardship, Joe could not afford a tertiary education. However, this did not deter Joe from learning on his own to improve himself.

Jane began to know Joe better and learned even more about him. She admired and appreciated Joe’s unrelenting and steadfast spirits. Jane began bringing Joe lunch regularly.

One day, Jane suggested to Joe that she would finance Joe to study overseas. She did not want to see his talents and tenacity go to waste.

Jane Sponsored Joe’s Overseas Study

Cutting to the chase, Joe went overseas on Jane’s scholarship. Jane did not hold a high position in her company and her salary was definitely not high. Being single and making sacrifices on her part, she could still afford to finance Joe’s study. Nevertheless, sacrifices are sacrifices.

Joe’s Return

Years passed by; Joe finally finished his studies. He even had an MBA. However, Jane was not even informed when he returned. Jane only learned of Joe’s return when she saw him having a meal with a lady. Jane approached Joe. Joe hastily introduced the lady to Jane as a businesswoman who intended to introduce Joe into some business network. Jane left the scene as she did not want to stick around like some unwanted third party.

Days passed; Jane did not hear from Joe. Joe did not pick up calls and did not reply to messages. If there were any replies at all, they were brief and curt. Joe gave excuses that he was busy, and he needed to network with businesspeople.

Joe’s Attitude Towards Jane

Eventually, Jane insisted on meeting Joe to confront him on his attitude. Joe replied, “Woman, the earth keeps spinning.”

“People keep moving forward.”

“We cannot stay on the same spot.”

“We need to have a higher vision.”

“THE ONLY CONSTANT IN LIFE IS CHANGE!”

If you want to, I can return you all your money.”

My Closing Statement

Ladies and gentlemen, the only constant in life is change. Do you agree? I do not care if you agree or disagree to that. I do not believe in that. I despise that oxymoron. People who quote that, think that they have made a very smart statement. To me, that is a smug statement. As far as I am concerned,

Change is due to inconsistency!

Change is due to disloyalty!

Change is due to a lack of commitment!

Do you think that Joe can feel righteous in the way he treated Jane even if he were to return Jane all her money? Even those money would not have come from himself but from some other people.

Ladies and gentlemen, I wrote this story to two or three people about two decades ago in my email to them. We were in the same organisation. I supported this underdog organisation whole heartedly, in terms of time, sweat and money; and yes, a lot of money.

How would you feel if you have sacrificed and given your all to someone, to some organisation and in return, you get slapped in your face with these words?

I will leave that for you to ponder.

Back to you toastmaster!

My Afterthoughts

Feedbacks From Audience

I received feedbacks indicating that some of my audience did not get the point of my story. Some did not perceive the relationship between Jane and Joe as I intended it to be. Jane was even accused of harassing Joe in this manner: I gave you my money, I waited for you and so you must love me.

I can accept the fact that my audience might have quite a bit of gap in empathising with the story compared to the original recipients of my story more than two decades ago when I first wrote it. The original recipients of my story went through the same experience with me and we shared a common background, a common betrayal. In this toastmasters chapter meeting, my prepared speech was only 7 minutes. I am aware that the relationship between Jane and Joe was not explicitly clear.

Clarification On Jane’s Relationship With Joe

My audience needed to understand that this was a 7-minute speech and not a 40-episode drama where I can direct an explicitly elaborated development in the relationship between Jane and Joe. First of all, the audience who had objected to the relationship between Jane and Joe failed to noticed that I called this a parable, not just a story. Being a parable, the characters and events are allegorical. It is not so much the intention of the parable to tell how a man and a woman develop their relationship but to accept what the title and narrative stated that Jane became Joe’s girlfriend.

So how did Jane become Joe’s ex-girlfriend? Why have I called it the “Parable of the Ex-Girlfriend”? Some did not even see when did Jane become Joe’s girlfriend.

How Jane became Joe’s girlfriend was not explicit but meant to be understood and accepted in a short story like this. It is not a romantic novel nor a drama series focusing on how the relationship developed. The development was subtle and meant to be perceived by the audience.

As Jane is not an extrovert girl, Jane did not propose to Joe. Jane’s interaction with Joe is an indication of a development of relationship from mere conversation to an understanding and appreciation. It followed up by showing care and concern by offering lunches regularly. Finally, it involved financial sacrifices to finance Joe’s studies overseas, wanting to see Joe realise his potential and to succeed.

Whether Jane and Joe actually verbalised their commitment with each other or not was not the focus of my story. If Joe was unwilling to enter into a relationship with Jane, he would not have accepted Jane’s offer to finance his studies overseas. I believe my female audience and readers can understand and accept what I am stating. Any man who accepts that kind of offer from another woman and yet claims that he is not entering into a serious relationship with her, not only is he feigning ignorance but is also a big scoundrel.

Jane was not a rich woman offering to sponsor Joe’s study. If it had been some rich person offering to sponsor Joe to study overseas, it would have been even more obvious that there was a catch to it. Like any business organisation or the government, it is a scholarship of which the recipient has to sign a bond to serve the organisation for a number of years upon successfully completing one’s study. What more if the sponsor is not a rich person with surplus money to throw around?

Allegorical Meaning Of Jane

I had purposely made the protagonist of my story a middle-class, self-reliant plain Jane and I elaborated quite a bit about Jane in my introduction. Jane is used to depict ordinary people who live an honest life, trying to make ends meet and not having surpluses. They live morally and ethically. They do not scuffle for the limelight and people do not notice them. They appreciate other people who make an honest living and not people who try to get ahead unscrupulously.

Allegorical Meaning Of Joe

Joe, an average Joe, is an underdog; talented but handicapped and lack opportunities. He gets looked down on and stepped upon by people who think that they are better, think that they are superior, when in fact they may not be. More often than not, they are merely luckier.

Allegorical Meaning Of The Relationship Between Jane And Joe

The ordinary honest people (Jane) talent-spotted an organisation (average Joe) that was despised by others, both superficial people and more successful organisations. These ordinary people banded together to support this underdog organisation with what they have, sacrificing much on their own. They saw “Joe” through the difficult times and helped made Joe a success.

When Joe succeeded, he was pursued by richer and successful people and organisations. Joe no longer had time for Jane, his previous supporters. Joe kept changing his vision and direction, ignoring Jane and began despising Jane. His attention and priority is now on the richer sponsors. There is not much Jane (the ordinary people) who once helped and sponsored him could offer him now. What was the attitude explicitly stated?

Do not try to tell me what to do.

Do not tell me you were the one who helped me when I was down and out.

Do not tell me what you did for me.

Do not tell me the values and directions we once shared and I have changed.

If you think that I owed my success to you, I can return you all the money you gave me.

Joe think that he could cut ties with Jane and attribute his success solely to himself by returning Jane all her money with other people’s money.

Conclusion

Some people may not be able to empathise with the story. Perhaps they have never sacrificed for anyone, or anything at all. So they do not feel the pain. Like a Chinese saying, “One does not feel the pain if one has not been pricked by a needle.”